The Humbled Artist

 
Photograph taken by Brian Hall

Photograph taken by Brian Hall

Journeying into new territories has brought me into a season of successful experimentation. I’ve been pretty risky with my creativity and maybe not to anyone else's definition but my own. Getting paid to create things I haven't gone into technical training for and coming out with pretty impressive results. Easily I could pat myself on the back and boast of my greatness, but I truly have no other explanation as to how I accomplish challenging creative feats besides…God. 

I’m one of those people that prefer “calculated risks." My personality is more on the cautious side. I sit smack dab in the middle of adventure and home sweet home and take regular trips to both sides, but when it comes to my purpose I’m often tempted to play it safe or stay lowkey. When it comes to matters of “simply being,” I’ve had to really test my fears something ferocious. When opportunities present themselves that make me feel very uncomfortable and cause me to question my true talent and gifting, I say yes even if I have to fake the confidence in my answer. It is pretty comical. My mouth says one thing and my face literally screams the opposite. Every negative emotion floods in after that initial leap of faith. I become somewhat paralyzed, mind full of “what if’s." Immediately a voice inside of me challenges me with a sweet, calm, persuasive tone “go for it, there’s nothing to lose.” In that small time frame, I choose to fix my mental. What a great moment to see what God can do through me! The stress and worry melt away at the simple fact that it is not in my own strength or ability. 

If you truly believe you can do all things, you don't have to doubt that His power will show up. I'm constantly choosing that mindset and I’ve yet to see a failure, either I kill it or I learn something new. 

One evening I was having my own personal Bible study time. During my reading, I stumbled upon a heavy question, “what do you have that you did not receive?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 for all my Bible readers out there). I sat and thought about it and my only response was…nothing! Everything that I have—even if I had to work for it— was received through the gifts God has placed on my life. We boast in our gifts and outward appearances as though every good thing that we have is not from God, Himself. Now you may believe in some other “higher power,” but can you really deny the fact that you were brought into this world (no decision concerning the matter) with wonderful things inside of you that just one day come out? Why else would our passions bring us so much joy, if they were not apart of God? 

This is a humbling thought for me. Every time I think or speak on what I find great about me, I am simply reminded of the glory of God, purposed, to be revealed through me. It is no wonder that the further I feel from Him the less creatively driven I am. When I take time to focus on His goodness and meditate on His truth, it is as if beauty instantly flows from me. Thoughts, words, images all become art again. My connection with the creator fuels my creativity. As elementary as it sounds, it is immensely profound because it makes the creative journey so much simpler than we’ve made it out to be. I'm reminded of when I was a kid. I never recall boasting about my drawings nor critiquing my short poems. I just made art and that was it. I believe children connect much quicker with God because they do not question themselves. They just do what they see or hear. That is what happens over time, we start to see and hear things that go against our true design and try to become someone/something we are not. Constantly striving to achieve or arrive when everything we need is already inside of us. 

God created you to reveal Himself. So whether arrogant or completely unsure of yourself, all of those things you think qualify or disqualify you really do not matter. The only thing that carries true weight is if you're authentically you because only then will others see the glory.