I always get frustrated with myself when I cry over something that hurt or disappointed me. I don't quite know the reason why yet. But in the midst of my tears (yes, I am crying while writing this), I heard God say "you are great at managing disappointment. I asked "how?" and He replied, "because you allow yourself to grieve it." And now as I reflect, I realize that I have developed a pretty consistent response to disappointment. I allow my heart to go through the healing it needs at the moment. This is HUGE! This is huge because that wasn’t always the case. I used to numb emotions when people or life would let me down. There was a time when I was so convinced that my feelings and thoughts did not matter; that my peace and joy came second to everyone else. A voice in my head whispered, "no one cares about how you feel or what you have to say." I once was so convinced of the enemy’s lies that I allowed myself to believe that I did not matter.
As I've matured my reaction to disappointment reflects just how much I have grown in love with God and myself. I let disappointment, pain, and discouragement run their course. I cry; that is okay because it is purifying. With every tear, there is a release. I do not stop at tears. I go deeper. I lay on my bed, or on the floor (whatever makes me feel more grounded) and I speak to God out loud. I say “God you are my comfort, please take this disappointment, take this pain, take this discouragement, and give me your peace and joy.” I thank him for redemption and to help me see the beauty in whatever the situation may be. I do not stop there! I listen. I wait for His voice, His healing, soothing voice. I write out what He says to me (I’ll need that reminder later). I may cry, again, but this time it’s different. It’s a cry of relief. The wave of peace and the warmth of love comes over me. I do not stop there! I hold tight to what He said. I make the decision not to revisit the pain and sulk in it. Once God’s truth (His view of the situation) is revealed, there is no need to feel low or defeated anymore. I don’t stop there... I choose joy! The decision is rather easy at this point because in His presence is FULLNESS of joy. From now on I will view these tears as my strength.
If you have never experienced this, I may sound crazy to you. Perhaps you don’t have that type of relationship with God, but He wants that type of relationship with you because He cares. He cares more than you can even fathom. I believe this is my testimony and I hope it helps you.
How you feel matters and it's worth being addressed. Before you do anything with that heavy emotion, address it with the lover of your soul. Don’t leave His presence until you're filled with His peace and joy.
Great songs to listen to when you feel disappointed:
Even When it Hurts by Hillsong United
To Those Who Wait by Bethany Dillion
Psalm 42 by Tori Kelly